At the end of my last post (Elizabeth's Birth Story) I promised you a redemptive birth story. Here I am, 1 year later, just getting around to it. Maybe that's a small indication of how busy life with 4 children is. Alexander's birth, February 12, 2018, was absolutely redemptive, though.
All 3 of my older children were born before their due date, so I was completely ready to have this kid early. You can imagine my disappointment when, day after day, the week before my due date, I continually woke up pregnant. I had an appointment with my midwife 4 days before my due date and, against my better judgment, I had her check me. Honestly, I was hoping she would say "You are dilated to 6 and your bag is bulging, lets break your water and do this thing!"
Instead, she said "Baby is +2 station, your cervix is posterior and you are dilated to 1." Translation: low baby, with a cervix pinned behind his head. UGH
Two days before my due date I had decided in my mind that this baby would never come. It was officially my longest pregnancy and I had no signs that anything was happening. I was certain I'd have to be induced at 42 weeks and give birth to a 9 pound baby. I tried all the tricks and was ready to resort to Castor Oil when my midwife reminded me that (even though it felt like it) I wasn't overdue and that the best births start on their own. After my traumatic delivery with Elizabeth I was determined to have the best birth possible so I gave up trying to make it happen.
Sunday, February 11th, the day before my due date - I was having NONSTOP braxton hicks contractions. I was trying not to get excited but everywhere we went I was thinking about my water breaking or how long it would take me to get home if real contractions started. I felt like my body was gearing up for labor but I was so afraid to wake up still pregnant the next day, that I tried not to think about it. I nested like crazy: yard work, cleaning the house, painting my nails.... I was ready!
Before I went to bed that night I sent my friend Amy (who planned to video and take pictures of our birth) a message and told her to keep her phone close by, just in case. I pulled the birthing tub out into the living room but didn't assemble it. Our midwife told me it took about 3 hours to set up and fill; my last 2 labors were about 3 hours start to finish so I knew I would need to get started right away.
We went to sleep around 10 p.m. and at 1 a.m. I woke up with a very intense (non-painful) contraction. I decided I needed to move my VERY low baby off my cervix to see if we could make room for it to swing forward and start dilating. I did the first pose of the Miles Circuit which is bum in the air, head on the pillow, knees apart. Within seconds of assuming this position I had a real contraction. Painful, crampy, intense. And you know what's crazy, after all the fear of labor number 4 that I had built up in my mind, I was so ready to be in labor that my first thought was "HALLELUJAH!". God had given me eagerness and readiness to do labor one more time. So, I stayed in that position hoping I'd have another real contraction.... 3 minutes later I DID! I wanted one more before I changed positions so I waited a few more minutes and contraction number 3 hit hard! I excitedly jumped out of bed and started working on the tub. My contractions were coming so fast though, that I couldn't even read the directions to the tub and complete a single step before the next one hit. I quickly realized I needed Nathaniel's help. He got right to work on the tub set up while I tried different positions to cope with contractions.
So here we are, in active labor. Contractions are 3-4 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 30-60 seconds. My midwives demanded I let them know the second I was sure I was in labor but I had this weird and unnecessary fear of waking everyone up and having them stuck at my house while I labored for hours so I REALLY hesitated calling them. I was trying to distract myself from calling them too early so my poor husband took the brunt of meeting my needs. He got the whole tub set up and started filling it. He changed all the sheets on our bed. He helped me get the Tens Unit on (Google it! So so so so amazing! I am notorious for horrible back labor and this thing truly helped until it absolutely couldn't anymore.). He helped me clean up the house. He got all the baby stuff in the dryer. He was amazing.
At 1:38 a.m. I sent a text to the Midwife telling her that she didn't need to rush but that I was ready when she was. My contractions were still only 30 seconds long so I thought I had all night of labor ahead of me. We filled the tub as quickly as our hot water heater allowed and the first Midwife, Diana, arrived at 2:15. She got all set up and Nathaniel called my friend Amy and told her to head down at about 2:20. The second midwife, Cynthia, arrived moments later and I remember making a comment that we needed to get the baby out before my kids woke up at 7:00 because I really didn't want them to see me in labor. Amy arrived at 2:30 and my water broke at 2:39.
Up until this point my contractions were reasonably intense. I had good control of my breathing and was steadily walking circles around the tub while meditating on scripture as two midwives, Amy, and my husband boiled water on the stove to try and get the tub filled. The second my water broke things got VERY serious. I actually thought the baby was going to come out on that contraction; so much pressure, so much pain, so overwhelming. I yelled "I HAVE TO PUSH.....MY WATER!" and was referring to my water breaking but I THINK my midwife thought I was yelling that I wanted to get into the water because she responded by saying "if the tub isn't ready, where do you want to do this?"
I HATE pushing babies out so I told her that I didn't want to do this and I wasn't ready. After the intensity of my water breaking I didn't have an urge to push so I put that in the back of my mind and headed back to Labor Land. I might have started crying at this point but I just kept saying "I don't want to push". I could tell everyone around me thought it was time. They were prepping baby clothes and putting on gloves and I thought there was no way it could be time already. At the next contraction I realized that it was actually time to push, now I was really crying. I remember my midwife and dear friend, Diana, saying "trust your body, Mandi, you can do this". They had never once checked to see how far dilated I was and it felt way too soon to be pushing. As I look back now, I think I only had 30 contractions, total. I still can't believe that as I type it. So when I felt the urge to push I didn't think I could possibly be fully dilated yet. Diana's words were so comforting in that moment. (See my home birth reflections at the bottom of this post)
The other midwife, Cynthia, told me I could get in the tub even though it wasn't full. It was about the only thing I could do besides give birth standing up. I was in soaking wet pants from my water breaking so sweet Cynthia helped me climb out of those, take off the Tens Unit, and climb into the tub. I told everyone that the baby was coming out on the next contraction, I needed to commit to pushing him out and getting it over with. Did I mention I HATE pushing babies out? My babies come flying out of me like a rocket and it feels like I'm tearing in two. So here I am, bracing myself for that, and my contractions just stop for like 10 minutes. I'm breathing and swaying in the tub while my team continues to try and fill it. Nathaniel is holding my hand and breathing with me. Amy turns the video camera on. And nothing is happening. Longest ten minutes of my life. Then, sure enough, one big contraction, one giant push, and I hear Diana say "The head has been born". Half a second after that, the rest of him came flying out of me with what Diana says was a "skim" of water over him. My team got the tub JUST full enough to classify as a water birth and at 2:52 a.m. my heart was torn to shreds as I came face to face with this miraculous blessing bestowed upon me. In the video I keep saying "Wow! You're amazing! Wow! I love you! Wow!"
Alexander John, the world stopped in that room and I had such a hard time grasping that you were actually in my arms in under 2 hours of labor that I barely knew what to do. Nathaniel's reaction is priceless.
We were both in awe and amazement and I felt like I needed to process everything that just happened by asking a million questions while I stared in awe at him. Shortly after he was born my two oldest kids came to see what all mom's screaming was about and meet their brother. Charlotte was instantly love struck. All of the kids fell in love with him right away and he's been the object of everyone's affection ever since.
I would do it all over again for you baby boy! You are loved, loved, loved!
Reflections on my home birth:
I never ever ever imagined myself giving birth at home. But for all the dear friends who encouraged me and went before me in such an adventure, I am forever grateful! It was a lovely and beautiful experience. I thought it would be weird to not have to "go" somewhere once labor started. But it was SO SO SO SO wonderful. Everyone came to me and served me, rather than me following what worked best for them and their policy.
I loved climbing into bed after he was born and not having to go anywhere. My midwives came to me for the first week of his life and did all of his checkups, so we never left the house or stepped foot in the germ infested pediatricians office.
My midwives were on call 24/7 after he was born so I could ask any question I wanted, any time of the day. I got mastitis and my midwife came and taught me about a natural charcoal poultice which cured me in hours.... on a Saturday!
My midwives never checked my cervix during labor. That seems silly, but it always felt like the hospital monitored my every move. My home birth was a very hands off approach to birthing which made it feel so much more natural. I'm sure they would have checked me if I had asked, but it was nice to not be touched or fussed with.
My oldest children got to meet him before his cord was even cut. They got a science lesson on the placenta and they rotated snuggling in bed with us all day. No visiting hours, no husband transporting kids to and from the hospital. We were complete as a family from the first minutes of his life.
I call my midwives "The Dream Team". I got to choose each person present at our birth and it was all people who knew me and loved me.
I praise God over and over for Alexander's birth and his life!
All 3 of my older children were born before their due date, so I was completely ready to have this kid early. You can imagine my disappointment when, day after day, the week before my due date, I continually woke up pregnant. I had an appointment with my midwife 4 days before my due date and, against my better judgment, I had her check me. Honestly, I was hoping she would say "You are dilated to 6 and your bag is bulging, lets break your water and do this thing!"
Instead, she said "Baby is +2 station, your cervix is posterior and you are dilated to 1." Translation: low baby, with a cervix pinned behind his head. UGH
Two days before my due date I had decided in my mind that this baby would never come. It was officially my longest pregnancy and I had no signs that anything was happening. I was certain I'd have to be induced at 42 weeks and give birth to a 9 pound baby. I tried all the tricks and was ready to resort to Castor Oil when my midwife reminded me that (even though it felt like it) I wasn't overdue and that the best births start on their own. After my traumatic delivery with Elizabeth I was determined to have the best birth possible so I gave up trying to make it happen.
Sunday, February 11th, the day before my due date - I was having NONSTOP braxton hicks contractions. I was trying not to get excited but everywhere we went I was thinking about my water breaking or how long it would take me to get home if real contractions started. I felt like my body was gearing up for labor but I was so afraid to wake up still pregnant the next day, that I tried not to think about it. I nested like crazy: yard work, cleaning the house, painting my nails.... I was ready!
Before I went to bed that night I sent my friend Amy (who planned to video and take pictures of our birth) a message and told her to keep her phone close by, just in case. I pulled the birthing tub out into the living room but didn't assemble it. Our midwife told me it took about 3 hours to set up and fill; my last 2 labors were about 3 hours start to finish so I knew I would need to get started right away.
We went to sleep around 10 p.m. and at 1 a.m. I woke up with a very intense (non-painful) contraction. I decided I needed to move my VERY low baby off my cervix to see if we could make room for it to swing forward and start dilating. I did the first pose of the Miles Circuit which is bum in the air, head on the pillow, knees apart. Within seconds of assuming this position I had a real contraction. Painful, crampy, intense. And you know what's crazy, after all the fear of labor number 4 that I had built up in my mind, I was so ready to be in labor that my first thought was "HALLELUJAH!". God had given me eagerness and readiness to do labor one more time. So, I stayed in that position hoping I'd have another real contraction.... 3 minutes later I DID! I wanted one more before I changed positions so I waited a few more minutes and contraction number 3 hit hard! I excitedly jumped out of bed and started working on the tub. My contractions were coming so fast though, that I couldn't even read the directions to the tub and complete a single step before the next one hit. I quickly realized I needed Nathaniel's help. He got right to work on the tub set up while I tried different positions to cope with contractions.
So here we are, in active labor. Contractions are 3-4 minutes apart and lasting anywhere from 30-60 seconds. My midwives demanded I let them know the second I was sure I was in labor but I had this weird and unnecessary fear of waking everyone up and having them stuck at my house while I labored for hours so I REALLY hesitated calling them. I was trying to distract myself from calling them too early so my poor husband took the brunt of meeting my needs. He got the whole tub set up and started filling it. He changed all the sheets on our bed. He helped me get the Tens Unit on (Google it! So so so so amazing! I am notorious for horrible back labor and this thing truly helped until it absolutely couldn't anymore.). He helped me clean up the house. He got all the baby stuff in the dryer. He was amazing.
At 1:38 a.m. I sent a text to the Midwife telling her that she didn't need to rush but that I was ready when she was. My contractions were still only 30 seconds long so I thought I had all night of labor ahead of me. We filled the tub as quickly as our hot water heater allowed and the first Midwife, Diana, arrived at 2:15. She got all set up and Nathaniel called my friend Amy and told her to head down at about 2:20. The second midwife, Cynthia, arrived moments later and I remember making a comment that we needed to get the baby out before my kids woke up at 7:00 because I really didn't want them to see me in labor. Amy arrived at 2:30 and my water broke at 2:39.
Up until this point my contractions were reasonably intense. I had good control of my breathing and was steadily walking circles around the tub while meditating on scripture as two midwives, Amy, and my husband boiled water on the stove to try and get the tub filled. The second my water broke things got VERY serious. I actually thought the baby was going to come out on that contraction; so much pressure, so much pain, so overwhelming. I yelled "I HAVE TO PUSH.....MY WATER!" and was referring to my water breaking but I THINK my midwife thought I was yelling that I wanted to get into the water because she responded by saying "if the tub isn't ready, where do you want to do this?"
I HATE pushing babies out so I told her that I didn't want to do this and I wasn't ready. After the intensity of my water breaking I didn't have an urge to push so I put that in the back of my mind and headed back to Labor Land. I might have started crying at this point but I just kept saying "I don't want to push". I could tell everyone around me thought it was time. They were prepping baby clothes and putting on gloves and I thought there was no way it could be time already. At the next contraction I realized that it was actually time to push, now I was really crying. I remember my midwife and dear friend, Diana, saying "trust your body, Mandi, you can do this". They had never once checked to see how far dilated I was and it felt way too soon to be pushing. As I look back now, I think I only had 30 contractions, total. I still can't believe that as I type it. So when I felt the urge to push I didn't think I could possibly be fully dilated yet. Diana's words were so comforting in that moment. (See my home birth reflections at the bottom of this post)
The other midwife, Cynthia, told me I could get in the tub even though it wasn't full. It was about the only thing I could do besides give birth standing up. I was in soaking wet pants from my water breaking so sweet Cynthia helped me climb out of those, take off the Tens Unit, and climb into the tub. I told everyone that the baby was coming out on the next contraction, I needed to commit to pushing him out and getting it over with. Did I mention I HATE pushing babies out? My babies come flying out of me like a rocket and it feels like I'm tearing in two. So here I am, bracing myself for that, and my contractions just stop for like 10 minutes. I'm breathing and swaying in the tub while my team continues to try and fill it. Nathaniel is holding my hand and breathing with me. Amy turns the video camera on. And nothing is happening. Longest ten minutes of my life. Then, sure enough, one big contraction, one giant push, and I hear Diana say "The head has been born". Half a second after that, the rest of him came flying out of me with what Diana says was a "skim" of water over him. My team got the tub JUST full enough to classify as a water birth and at 2:52 a.m. my heart was torn to shreds as I came face to face with this miraculous blessing bestowed upon me. In the video I keep saying "Wow! You're amazing! Wow! I love you! Wow!"
Alexander John, the world stopped in that room and I had such a hard time grasping that you were actually in my arms in under 2 hours of labor that I barely knew what to do. Nathaniel's reaction is priceless.
We were both in awe and amazement and I felt like I needed to process everything that just happened by asking a million questions while I stared in awe at him. Shortly after he was born my two oldest kids came to see what all mom's screaming was about and meet their brother. Charlotte was instantly love struck. All of the kids fell in love with him right away and he's been the object of everyone's affection ever since.
I would do it all over again for you baby boy! You are loved, loved, loved!
Reflections on my home birth:
I never ever ever imagined myself giving birth at home. But for all the dear friends who encouraged me and went before me in such an adventure, I am forever grateful! It was a lovely and beautiful experience. I thought it would be weird to not have to "go" somewhere once labor started. But it was SO SO SO SO wonderful. Everyone came to me and served me, rather than me following what worked best for them and their policy.
I loved climbing into bed after he was born and not having to go anywhere. My midwives came to me for the first week of his life and did all of his checkups, so we never left the house or stepped foot in the germ infested pediatricians office.
My midwives were on call 24/7 after he was born so I could ask any question I wanted, any time of the day. I got mastitis and my midwife came and taught me about a natural charcoal poultice which cured me in hours.... on a Saturday!
My midwives never checked my cervix during labor. That seems silly, but it always felt like the hospital monitored my every move. My home birth was a very hands off approach to birthing which made it feel so much more natural. I'm sure they would have checked me if I had asked, but it was nice to not be touched or fussed with.
My oldest children got to meet him before his cord was even cut. They got a science lesson on the placenta and they rotated snuggling in bed with us all day. No visiting hours, no husband transporting kids to and from the hospital. We were complete as a family from the first minutes of his life.
I call my midwives "The Dream Team". I got to choose each person present at our birth and it was all people who knew me and loved me.
I praise God over and over for Alexander's birth and his life!
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