I Wish Time Grew On Trees (2/6/12)

Have you ever heard that saying “I wish money grew on trees”? More money? Sure! I’ll take it if it’s growing on trees…  but if I had the choice, I’d rather have a bunch of extra time lying around.
My Grandpa sent me an e-mail not long ago that was on the subject of time. He said “Time, it seems, is both a friend and an enemy. It is life. To waste time is to waste life”. Wow. Ponder that for a moment.
I often feel like time moves faster than I do. I frequently use the phrase “I need to catch up” in relation to work, friends, laundry, errands, and sleep (as if I will ever get to a point where I feel completely on top of things). Wouldn’t it create an atmosphere of “Peace” to know that you had an extra hour or two to pluck from a tree when you need it? An option to make time stand still while you complete a task (or 3), take a nap, have a full conversation with your spouse, sit and enjoy your children, make a phone call??
The reason I’m so hung up on time is because I need it to slow down. Over the past month my child has: grown straight through an entire size of clothes, learned to crawl, learned to pull himself up on everything, learned to stand without hanging on to anything, discovered that he can somewhat control me, popped another tooth through, and become a complete blabbermouth.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked myself “Is this really the same child I brought home from the hospital?”.
Although I feel like Zachary has always done really well developmentally (even during his worst tummy times) he now REALLY seems to be taking off with his developmental growth. I literally think he becomes more independent and more capable every day. I don’t want time to slow down so that I can take a nap, complete a task, or make a phone call… I NEED time to slow down so that I can process every stage with my son. I’m worried I might miss something!
To answer the question you’ve all been waiting for, Zachary seems to be doing great on formula! I can finally say we feel like his tummy problems have disappeared. I’m now enjoying every moment of my child’s life, instead of counting the seconds until our next appointment or constantly wondering when his next reaction will be.
I am sure a lot of parents feel like this stage of their baby’s life is a fast track – but for us, it’s the first time we feel like we can slow down a bit, relax, and enjoy Zachary. So naturally, we want Zachary to slow down. To enjoy his life a little slower and less complicated too. Now, instead of bouncing him in circles around the house all day trying to keep him happy, I’m chasing him around the house in circles all day trying to keep him out of things.
I love this chapter of our lives, I love waking up with certainty that it’s going to be a good day for Zachary. I love not knowing what new skill Zachary is going to learn each day, and I love being home with him to see all of his “firsts”. But a huge part of me wishes he’d slow down. I got excited about him being able to pull himself up and the next day he was crawling. I got excited about him crawling and the next week he was standing on his own. Time is moving too fast.
So a little more on the “tummy” thing (MPI): We DO feel like this formula is working. We are thrilled with the results we’ve seen so far (outside of a major diaper rash that won’t disappear). Our next step is to start working on our list of solids from the Nutritionist. One at a time, nice and slow. I can’t help but have a huge amount of anxiety about putting Zachary through this whole trial thing again but I know that it’s in God’s hands. I trust Him and pray that soon this will all be behind us. That Zachary won’t have any MAJOR reactions, and that we’ll know quickly and definitely which foods will and won’t work.
Now that Zachary is feeling better, I have a hard time remembering how bad things used to be. Sometimes I think “Wow, was it all in my head?” And then I’ll watch a home video of him, or I’ll read through old blogs or old devotions and I’ll remember quickly how hard things really were. I am then left praising God for getting us to this spot… because we never thought we’d EVER survive those long hopeless nights and we never thought we’d EVER get here. Zachary is a happy baby. He has so much personality and he is alive. We can’t believe how full our hearts are. Thank you for your prayers… they were answered.
We are mostly adjusted to bottle feeding now. I still miss nursing very much, but there is a convenience factor with bottle feeding that I wouldn’t have gotten to experience had I not stopped nursing – on Friday night, Nathaniel got up for the first time to feed Zachary during the night. I’m not exactly missing nursing so much at 4am when I’m laying in bed and my husband is taking care of the feeding and changing. I also can’t tell you how many times I nursed Zachary in the backseat of my car while out running errands… sweating, because both of our bodies under a cover in a small confined space didn’t allow for cool air to circulate. We can now mix a bottle, hand it to him, and be on our way. The bond that nursing creates is irreplaceable, but there’s still no one in this world who will love Zachary like I do, and honestly, it’s so much easier to bond with him when he’s not screaming all day.
Zachary still does have rough days in relation to teething, getting thrown off his nap schedule, bonking his head one too many times (I swear my child has no depth perception when it comes to crawling towards something) but to be honest, we don’t mind them. Teething is something that we know will end, that we can keep under control, and that we can put our finger on…. none of those qualities are present in his “tummy” issues. He now is dealing with “normal” baby issues that all parents have faced and survived. We are actually enjoy that he is going through these “normal” stages. We feel fulfilled as parents now that we can provide comfort to our son when he is tired, teething, or bumped his head… we never felt that we could help Zachary when his tummy was hurting.
Habakkuk 2:3 says “These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” (NLT)
This verse was my guiding light during Zachary’s worst days. But now, I want to stop the clock. (Time really is both friend and enemy) I don’t want to miss something, I want to take it all in and memorize it. Watching Zachary grow is my greatest joy, if I am not sitting on the floor playing with him and watching his reaction to every new discovery while he’s at this stage, I’m wasting time. And to waste time… is to waste life.